The authors start off this chapter with a series of very important questions:
How do you figure out what's right for you? What if one day you are sure you want to adopt, yet the next day you think it would be better to be childfree? Or you find an egg donor, but your partner doesn't like your choice? What if you get scared and change your mind midstream?
The authors describe how for some, it is important to be prepared for the next step and for others a time to grieve is necessary. I am sort of the next step type. It is soothing to me to know a plan is in place.
An interesting aspect of re-writing your story is when the two halves of a couple have different feelings on how to proceed. I feel that right now DH and I are on the same page, but I often wonder about where our rewritten reproductive stories may verge.
The authors conclude this chapter with great advice:
[T]here are no right or wrong choices at this juncture in your reproductive story. The beauty of the reproductive story is that it can be written and rewritten as you go through your life. Your infertility trauma will never be completely erased-it will always be a part of you-but it will be only a part, a single chapter, in the story of your life.
2 comments:
I love the thought that it is only a single chapter in your whole life. If only the chapter that we are currently in didn't always feel like everything and the most important.
I agree with Jen. I know it's only a part of who I am, but it feels like such a BIG part right now. As with every thing else in life, it is sometimes difficult to keep perspective on something so important that is happening to you right now. And unlike other areas of life, infertility doesn't respond to my greatest efforts. When I have been in other challenges, I have been able to do SOMETHING to better my position. This is one chapter that I can't seem to write (right) the ending of.
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