Like a ton of bricks

I have a confession to make, I skipped a dose of one of those stupid progesterone suppositories yesterday so that I would hopefully not feel weepy about the adoption info meeting. It apparently worked because I was fairly level-headed and didn't feel emotional about it at all. And for the first time, the idea of international adoption sounded intriguing to me. As if I need to open up another can of worms.

DH, on the other hand, was a royal pain. He kept fidgeting in his chair, sitting up, slouching down, getting up to throw things away, tapping my hand, whispering to me. I wanted to shove him.

After the meeting, we went to dinner and I asked him what he thought. He said he didn't know what to think. Ok, very helpful. After much pointed cross-examination, I finally pulled from him that it had hit him- how long this process is going to take, how much it is going to cost, and how much it will require of us. All of the things I have been saying for, oh, I don't know, months, maybe?

Anyway, I feel like we have a plan of sorts, although it hinges on the results of the special s/a today. If the white blood cells are really immature sperm cells as a result of the Clomid, we will take off at least November from IUIs. Since we will be gone in January, I know we can't cycle then, so we might go ahead and do one in December, depending on what the RE has to say on the 30th at the consult. But if they are really white blood cells, DH wants to go ahead (although I told him not to bother for reproductive purposes) and have further testing involving catheters and rectal probles. Fun, fun.

Meanwhile, in three months, we should know if Bethany will have a local embryo adoption program and if not, we will apply to the one in Tennessee in March after we hit our three year anniversay (program requirement of three years of marriage). So, at least, there is a plan. Even though I feel no closer to actually getting a baby.