After meeting with the RE (which predictably boiled down to donor insemination or ivf), DH is gung-ho to do ivf and shared risk, at that. After learning more about how few couples (only about 25%) even have embryos to freeze and that those only have enough for one FET, he is willing to take the risk of frozen. Apparently, in his head, he thought ivf creates dozens of embryos that are in deep freeze. I wish he had told me of this so I could have disabused him of the notion. I did know that dozens of embryos wasn't the case, but I must admit I didn't know how few there really are.
I am still struggling with the frozen thing though. Anyhow, I will continue to ponder. If we did move forward, it wouldn't be until summer of 2008 because (1) the RE won't do the ivf until I lose 50 pounds (well, only 35 now since I have been working on this); (2) my work schedule is crazy from February through May and wouldn't allow for any time off for any purpose; and (3) to give us time to get finances in order.
Can I just add that I really hate that just about everything in my life comes down to my damn weight. Sigh.
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9 comments:
I don't recall what the reasons towards your feelings are about the frozen embryos is. Forgive me if I am out of place or missed something but I'm just thinking that if your concern is you would have extra frozen embryos left over that you would not intend to use (and would need to do something with), one option could be to adopt them out to other couples who can't seem to make their own embryos for whatever reason.
Of course it's a personal matter and I would never attempt to tell others what to do, I have just thought for a while that if I were in that situation (having extra embryos) that I would want to give them to someone who needs and wants them. Being that I have elevated FSH though, the chances of my being able to help anyone in this way is extremely low. I would be more likely to be on the receiving end, I'm afraid. But I have thought from day one that it would be wonderful if I could help someone to be able to carry and give birth to their child. I had the fantasy that I would be able to help my cousin who was going through IVF in this way. Luckily her second round of IVF worked.
Again, just one idea/opinion but possibly an option to consider depending on your beliefs, etc.
I know there is a LOT to consider and in the end you need to just follow your heart and not what anyone else says.
Best of luck on your decision.
Not everything. If you didn't tell me I wouldn't know. The picture of you in my mind is formed from the amazing character you exhibit on your blog and as such I have always imagined you to be beautiful in every single way. In fact, I still do.
I'm glad you have more options in front of you now. I look forward to your analysis of the options in the coming months.
I am sorry that you feel like everything in life comes down to your weight. i know and recognize that feeling SO WELL!!
They're never easy options to negotiate. I often think that it plain sucks that there's no other choice other than to pick one if we want the realistic chance at a child.
J
I also have a lot of conflict with the frozen embryo thing. There isn't just one decision, either. First, there is the freeze or not to freeze decision. Then, the what to do with the embies if you get pregnant and don't want more kids. Then, the decision is what to do with the embies if you die. I hadn't even thought of that until they gave us the consent forms. There is so much to consider on this road to a baby. It sucks sometimes that these decisions come so fast and furious when most people don't even have to think about them at all.
I know this is a hard decision with many different ethical facets to consider. I support you in whatever you choose to do and wish you the best in the decision-making process.
And I'm with Taina - I see a pic of you in my head and you're beautiful because your personality shines through. XOXO
ARGh! The weight thing.. I am not kidding you. I literally went to the doctor about an earache a few years ago and THAT turned out to be a conversation about my weight.
(And for the record, it turned out that I had a bath bead in my ear. Dove had some body wash with little bath beads in it. I had one that didn't dissolve in my ear. Tell me how to blame that on my fat!)
I'm sorry. Good luck with the weight loss.
It doesn't seem right that all this comes down to weight. And with only 35 pounds to lose that hardly makes you overweight....plenty of people with some spare poundage get pregnant all the time. Sucks that for us it becomes an added complication
Good luck with all of your decisions
It doesn't seem right that it comes down to weight. Timing, sure--that's on your terms. But someone else setting the weight? I seriously don't think I could lose right now. I eat when I'm tense and what could be more anxiety-inducing than this?
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