We have friends who are a couple where he is vegan and she is a vegetarian. And although I don't personally agree with their philosophy of not eating animal products, I can respect their convictions. But I about came unglued when the guy who won't eat eggs because it is exploitative of chickens explained that he didn't think embryos were life or potential life. How is that in any way consistent? Good thing DH hustled me out of there pretty fast.
The kicker for ignorance came today when a friend of mine made the comment that "maybe it wasn't God's will" for us to have children. This thoroughly ridiculous statement is so wrong on so many levels (rationally and theologically) that I didn't even know where to start. I was rather proud of my response to her though. I stated rather emphatically that infertility is a disease and would she say that it's God's will that someone had cancer? And then, I told her until she learned a little bit more about infertility or had to go through it, she had best not say such things to those going through it. She tried to tell me that she understood because she physically can't have children (she has had both tubes removed and most of her uterus). But she knew that when she was 23 and is now 40. She has never tried to have children and for that matter never expressed a desire to have them. She doesn't even like the stepdaughter that she has.
Can we tell I am feeling a bit on the angry side this evening? I always do better with a cause to rally around.
Another adoption information meeting tomorrow.
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4 comments:
you have every right (and more) to be angry. I am tired of people's stupidity as an excuse for lacking compassion
it is amazing to me that on top of the deeply difficult emotions we have to deal with as a direct cause of IF, we THEN have to deal with the ignorance, stupidity, and close-mindedness of others who are supposed to care about us. it is completely baffling.
and your friend who won't eat eggs but doesn't think embryos are life/potential life...well, he needs a basic biology lesson.
"the guy who won't eat eggs because it is exploitative of chickens explained that he didn't think embryos were life or potential life. How is that in any way consistent?"
I totally agree with you on this. I don't understand how people can be pro-life and pro-capital punishment. I always tell people that they may not like my convictions (which are admittedly quite different than yours) but at least I'm consistant. At least I have taken the time to sit down and figure out what I believe and why and how it transcends the different aspects of my life.
"a friend of mine made the comment that "maybe it wasn't God's will" for us to have children."
I have a friend who once told me that maybe IF was "the Universe's way of telling me I wasn't meant to have kids". This from the woman who had her child out of wedlock, signed it over to her parents, and now 6 years later is till fighting a custody battle him back. So WTF is the Universe trying to tell her?
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrggggggggg!!!
Apparently it's God's will that she's stupid.
My answer to people who say that sort of thing is "If you feel that way, go live with the Amish."
Anyone who has ever taken a Tylenol for a headache doesn't get to judge my choice to fight this battle.
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