Lapped

I just learned (from DH who really didn't want to tell me, no doubt predicting my reaction) that our next-door neighbor is pregnant again. Four months apparently. Unplanned, another "oops." This is the couple who weren't married yet when they bought the house next door because she was finalizing her divorce. Shortly after they moved in in October 2006 (months after we started trying), I learned she was "accidentally pregnant." She had a little girl in May 2007, just as our infertility diagnosis was being finalized. At some point before the birth, they quietly got married.

Before the birth, the father mentioned how he would be disappointed if it was a girl. Turns out he was disappointed. He spends very little time with the baby. The great-grandmother or grandmother watches her constantly. I understand needing someone while the mother is working, but if the mother is not there, the grandmother or great-grandmother is, even when the father is home. The mother did not breastfeed because it was "inconvenient." I know that often breastfeeding doesn't work out for people, but to not even give it a shot for the sake of your kid? It frustrates me how little these people seem to do for their baby. I could go on and on. And yet, they're having another.

Does being pregnant take some of the sting away? Yes. But I am still left angry and full of righteous indignation at the unfairness of these people getting ANOTHER oops baby when there are so many others who have endured so much that deserve a baby so much more. She will have two babies and mine will still not be born yet. And that's assuming that we get a take-home baby out of this pregnancy. I know in my head that it rains on the just and the unjust and that life is not "fair." But in my heart- the voice calls out, "Unfair, unfair."