Unsung Lullabies- Intro and Chapter 1

Introduction

I have to admit I got a little nervous in reading the introduction to the book because all of the authors are psychologists. I am not so much the touchy-feely, explore my psyche type. And I am embarassed to admit that I think counseling is great-for other people. Growing up in my dysfunctional family, keeping things private was always emphasized and the thought of extensively discussing my feelings with a stranger still sort of leaves me queasy. However, it seems that the good doctors intend to rely more on their own infertility experiences, which are extensive, and those of their patients without too much of the deep psychological digging that transcends infertility. And I certainly appreciate the male perspective given by one of the authors.

Chapter One- This Isn't How It Was Supposed To Be
The title of this chapter says it all- the beginning of the shattered dreams. Gone is the concept of a child conceived as a product of the marriage bed, traded in for doctor's appointments and schedule arrangements for treatment cycles.

In this chapter, the authors introduce the concept of "reproductive trauma." My first reaction to this was the thought that trauma seemed a pretty extreme description for infertility. But the authors' definition of a trauma is "any event or feeling that goes beyond the range of usual human experience and is overwhelming either physically, emotionally, or both." Infertility certainly qualifies for that. And it is the ongoing nature of the repeated trauma cycle after unsuccessful cycle that really provides the most devastation. I often ask myself how much longer I can continue this madness, but what other option do I have?

In sum, we are off to an interesting start with Unsung Lullabies and I am curious to see where the authors go, especially a more thorough discussion of male factor infertility.

To continue with the Unsung Lullabies discussion, go here.