Tell Me You Love Me Episode 4

It is starting to become a little clearer now. The episode starts off with Carolyn buying an hpt at a drug store and then using their bathroom to poas. When she sees the inevitable negative, she loses it and tears the paper towel dispenser off the wall. She goes to the construction site where Palek is working and he is unable to comfort her, esp because he is rather distracted by work labor situations.

She later reveals to Palek that she had been pregnant before and had an abortion. He responds that that is why she thought it had to be him because she had been pregnant before. He completely missed the grief she is experiencing and the guilt associated with the abortion.

I understood what she was feeling that maybe that was her one chance and now it is gone. Although I have never had an abortion, in February 2006, I missed a period for the first time in my life. I was scheduled to start a new job after having been out of work for nine months. I was afraid to be pregnant even though we had planned to go off birth control in less than six months. I just couldn't start a new job pregnant, knowing I wouldn't be FMLA eligible and so many other things. And I prayed really hard not to be pregnant. It turned out, of course, that I wasn't pregnant and it was merely a result of my new birth control pills. But how often in the last year I have wondered if somehow I am being denied because I didn't want what perhaps was being offered.

This is the first episode that DH has watched with me. He made an interesting comment about how Palek never says the right thing to Carolyn and how he feels that he can never say the right thing to me either. And the hard thing is I don't even know what the "right" thing is to say to me.