We attended a friend's wedding this weekend. It has been a (very) long time since I have gone to a Catholic wedding (talking over a decade here). Throughout the service were references to being blessed with children. It made me cringe. But the one that really got to me was a prayer sung to the couple that included a line "May Your Spouse Be Bountiful." At first, I wondered if that one had been politically corrected with the introduction of spouse (as opposed to wife). And then, I started to ponder who else was being bothered by this phrase. I know, based on discussions with my friend the bride, that she has several infertile friends. Was anyone else in the church pondering their lack of bounty?
On a side note, I learned that the bride's sister miscarried the day of the wedding at 7 weeks. I wonder how much pain the words about being blessed with children brought her. And I pray that seeing all of the babies and small children and my pregnancy did not wound her even more.
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4 comments:
There are reminders everywhere, aren't there?
ugh. :(
Remind me someday to tell you about a horrific experience I had with the Catholic church before I married DH (he's catholic). Perhaps I'll post it..
I was raised Catholic and have been to tons of Catholic weddings. Some are really heavy on the fertility stuff, others not at all. But I was at one where the bride was actually led by all the men to a statue of the Virgin Mary, where she prayed for fertility during the ceremony. It really bugged me for some reason and this was back when I was in my 20s and not a bit of interest in conceiving yet.
I was thinking about this during a Catholic wedding I went to in February. The groom is a cancer survivor (although still getting treatment)and the bride has said that she has periods about once every four months. They know their odds of a naturally conceived biological child are slim. They are also aware that adoption may be difficult given his health concerns. I wondered how these parts of the mass may have impacted them.
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