I couldn't have said it better

I just wanted to share this because of how powerful it is for both those with babies and those who are still waiting. I have my own thoughts on my first Mother's Day but haven't been able to articulate them well yet.

Thank you, Baby Story!

The other day while I held my baby as he napped (that is another post to come), I turned on the tv and couldn't find much on other than A Baby Story. I had watched the show a very few times at the very end of my pregnancy as a way to mentally prepare for birth. It's usually just drippy emotionalism and I was usually disappointed because it was typically someone who easily got pregnant and had a breezy pregnancy. But not this time.

The woman featured openly discussed their infertility (both male and female factor) and how she had gotten pregnant with IUI. It was not a circus and there was not a judgmental air about the discussion as has surrounded the octo-mom issues. It was just matter of fact. These were just normal, married people who wanted to have a baby like every body else. The episode ended with the new mother explaining how much this baby meant to her after all they had gone through.

A tear fell down my cheek as I looked down at my own little miracle. Why can't the public talk about infertility in just this way- open and factually? I give credit to the producers of A Baby Story for their portrayal of infertility.

Train Wreck

Yes, it's been a while. But I find the old infertile in me (I subscribe to the once an infertile, always an infertile theory) still popping up once and a while.* And this has been one of those weeks.

In part because the coworker who began trying a few months after we did and had her baby in September of 2007 is now pregnant with number 2, again after only a few months of trying. I will never understand why it comes so easily for some. And she has the uncanny ability to have her events coincide with mine. The day her baby was born I was going for my first IUI which resulted in me in tears because of the count results. And coworker told me of her pregnancy today as I get ready to go the endocrinologist tomorrow to very likely learn that I am pre-diabetic and possibly insulin resistant and may need to go on metformin. My gestational diabetes didn't just disappear. So, the question of a number 2 is fraught with a lot more problems on my part.

But the infertile in me came to the forefront even more so due to the story that people can't help but talk about- yes, the octuplets and their mother. I confess. I watched it. The Dateline interview, that is. A definite train wreck. It was the story of an infertile gone bad. I could sympathize with her desire to have children and even wanting to use the embryos she had left over and not selectively reducing. But how did she get to the point where she needed to do have these pregnancies in a serial fashion? Her uterus must be made of steel. Not even discussing the issues of finances and how fair this is to any of her children, but what possessed her not to be grateful for the one or even the two or three she had before she got into the level of a litter of children?

I feel so grateful for the one I have that if I never get another, it's ok. I look at my son each night and thank God that I was given this little miracle. Being on the "other side" now, I can say with certainty that infertility IS different when you already have a child, even if you want more. It is not the same and it can never be the same. When did Nadya Suleman lose that perspective?









*And at what point can one be considered secondarily infertile given that there is already a diagnosis? Not that I am trying for number 2 at all right now, but it's something I ponder- when? After six months (given that I am now over 35-sigh)? It's all a semantics game.

What a difference a year can make

This time last year I was in a holding pattern. We had been to adoption agencies and debating ivf. I spent the first quarter of 2008 losing weight in anticipation of beginning a cycle in early summer. I never could have imagined that the end of 2008 would be bring me the title of mother. And certainly not in the way it came about. I am simply overwhelmed that I now have a son. Most days, I am still thinking someone will wake me up from this dream realized.

For 2009, I pray that the babies born to those in the infertility community this year flourish, especially Robbie. And for those with continued longing, I want 2009 to be the year you bring your babies home.

Zachary's blog

can be found at Critter Tales.

We're home today

what a thrill it was to bring our little guy home. We have a new blog set up just for him and all of my baby issues will be there- url to come. This blog will remain for infertility issues.

Welcome Zachary William

Zachary William was born at 6:53 pm Central Standard Time, December 6, 2008, delivered by C section. He weighed 8 pounds 7.8 ounces, and is 21.5 inches long.

His name means "The Lord has remembered." And He has. We both feel truly blessed with our precious gift from God.

Mrs. Shoes is doing fairly well but still in a lot of pain. Perhaps you will get a new left handed post from her tomorrow if she feels well enough.