Yes, it's been a while. But I find the old infertile in me (I subscribe to the once an infertile, always an infertile theory) still popping up once and a while.* And this has been one of those weeks.
In part because the coworker who began trying a few months after we did and had her baby in September of 2007 is now pregnant with number 2, again after only a few months of trying. I will never understand why it comes so easily for some. And she has the uncanny ability to have her events coincide with mine. The day her baby was born I was going for my first IUI which resulted in me in tears because of the count results. And coworker told me of her pregnancy today as I get ready to go the endocrinologist tomorrow to very likely learn that I am pre-diabetic and possibly insulin resistant and may need to go on metformin. My gestational diabetes didn't just disappear. So, the question of a number 2 is fraught with a lot more problems on my part.
But the infertile in me came to the forefront even more so due to the story that people can't help but talk about- yes, the octuplets and their mother. I confess. I watched it. The Dateline interview, that is. A definite train wreck. It was the story of an infertile gone bad. I could sympathize with her desire to have children and even wanting to use the embryos she had left over and not selectively reducing. But how did she get to the point where she needed to do have these pregnancies in a serial fashion? Her uterus must be made of steel. Not even discussing the issues of finances and how fair this is to any of her children, but what possessed her not to be grateful for the one or even the two or three she had before she got into the level of a litter of children?
I feel so grateful for the one I have that if I never get another, it's ok. I look at my son each night and thank God that I was given this little miracle. Being on the "other side" now, I can say with certainty that infertility IS different when you already have a child, even if you want more. It is not the same and it can never be the same. When did Nadya Suleman lose that perspective?
*And at what point can one be considered secondarily infertile given that there is already a diagnosis? Not that I am trying for number 2 at all right now, but it's something I ponder- when? After six months (given that I am now over 35-sigh)? It's all a semantics game.
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6 comments:
If you are IR, met isn't so bad. I've been on it for YEARS. Best thing I did was listen to my body and figure out what dosage and time to take it.
As far as the Mom of 14... love can't pay the bills hun! I think her RE should be shot! I heard he was under investigation. But no one has said who was going to pay the MULTI MILLION DOLLAR HOSPITAL BILL!?!
Oh that octuplet woman makes me crazy. I haven't even seen that much about her.
I am so sorry to hear about your appointment tomorrow. Wishing you tons of support and luck
That woman's RE should lose his license to practice medicine.
This woman is obviously batshit crazy. Have you seen any old photos of her? I am curious how she could afford her plastic surgery and her IVF. I also saw a photo of her perfectly manicured hand with acrylic french tips covering one of her babies. Am wondering how she found the time to get a manicure with her 14 kids.
Ah man, I'm so sorry you have to get on that crappy insulin problems band wagon hon. You need support or food ideas or help with the Met, feel free to turn to me. I sure needed it (and still often do!)
Great perspective on infertility as well. I often think that you are more likely to feel ok with that one child too if it was a huge struggle just to conceive one. If it's ya know.. a year or 2 or it just took a clomid round or two, you may have more fight and angst left in ya for wanting #2 in a similar way. I'm sorry to say, much of the fight has been beaten out of me, and I've become much more accepting.
I'm so glad you still post on this blog. I love your insight.
Just checking in...hope you're little family is doing well!
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